As someone who has been in your shoes, I know how tempting it is to compare yourself with others. You see your friends doing really well in coding, or your classmates getting internships at top tech companies, and you can not help but start to think, “Am I good enough?”
But here is the thing, comparing yourself to others can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate you to push yourself harder. On the other hand, it can lead to anxiety, fear, and a whole lot of unnecessary stress.
So, is comparing yourself to others worth it? Let’s talk about it in detail.
Table of Contents
The Psychology Behind Comparison
First off, comparing ourselves to others is totally normal human behaviour. It’s part of how we figure out where we stand in the world. This is known as Social Comparison Theory. Basically, we look at others to measure our own abilities and self-worth. It’s like looking at a mirror, but instead of reflecting your physical appearance, it reflects your skills, talents, and accomplishments.
When you are surrounded by talented friends who are great at coding, you might feel inspired to level up your own skills. But if you are hanging out with people who are not as motivated, it can drag you down. Remember, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So, choose your friend circle accordingly. Comparing yourself to others can have both positive and negative effects.
Positive Effects
When you see your friends achieving their goals, it can motivate you to push yourself harder. If your friend just got an internship, you might think, “I can also do that” This kind of comparison can boost your self-esteem and drive. This effect is known as the Assimilation Effect.
Comparing yourself to someone who is struggling can make you feel better about your own progress. But it’s not about putting others down; it’s about recognizing your own achievements.
Negative Effects
On the other hand, constant comparison can lead to anxiety and a fear of being judged. You might start to feel like you are not good enough, which can hurt your mental health and academic experience. This happens when you see someone’s achievements and feel, “I’ll never be that good.”
Ever heard of the “Big Fish, Little Pond” effect? It is the idea where you are the best in a smaller group and feel confident, but the moment you are in a large and more competitive group, you start doubting yourself. This happens a lot when students move from school to college or from one coding community to another. It is important to know this is normal and doesn’t mean you have lost your skills. This is also a reason to find the right balance in your peer group.
The Role of Peer Interaction
Your peers can be your biggest asset or your biggest stressor. Structured peer interactions, like working on group projects or joining coding communities, can boost your skills and make learning more enjoyable. But too much unhealthy competition can be harmful and lead to fear of failure and stress.
That’s why it is important for educators to understand both sides of comparison and promote positive peer interactions without fostering toxic competition. Structured peer interactions have been found to enhance programming skills, enjoyment, and intention to learn among students. Even comparing peers of similar levels can encourage collaborative learning and improve coding skills. So, if you are in a study group, focus on lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down.
How to Deal with the Negative Effects of Comparison
If you find yourself feeling down because of comparisons, here is how you can manage the negative impacts of comparing yourself to others.
- Self-Awareness: The first step is noticing when you are comparing yourself to others. Acknowledge it and understand how it makes you feel. Ask yourself: is this helping me grow, or is it making me feel worse? This awareness can help you redirect your focus back to your personal growth and achievements.
- Set Personal Goals: Instead of measuring yourself against others, set your own goals. What do you want to achieve? Focus on that and celebrate your milestones, no matter how small.
- Limit Social Media: Social media highlights reels, not real life. If scrolling makes you feel like you are behind the world, then take a break, try to limit your time on these platforms, or at least be mindful of how they make you feel. Focus on what you are doing instead of what others are showing.
- Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to think about what you have achieved and what you have. This can shift your mindset from “I am not enough” to “I have so much to be proud of.”
- Find Supportive Communities: Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Join groups where the goal is to learn and grow together, not to compete.
- Focus on Personal Development: Spend time improving your skills, learning new things, and working on projects that excite you. When you are focused on your own growth, you will care less about what others are doing. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow. Focus on becoming a better version of yourself.
Conclusion
So, is comparing yourself to others worth it? It can be, but only if you are mindful about it. Use it as a tool for motivation rather than a source of anxiety. Comparing yourself to others is a part of being human, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding the effects of comparison and taking steps to manage it, you can create a healthier mindset. There will always be someone better or worse than you. Instead of getting stuck in this cycle, focus on your unique journey. Remember, the goal isn’t to be better than someone else; it’s to be better than who you were yesterday.
